Calming the Anxious Brain
Making Decisions from Truth, Not Insecurity
By Tima Dajani - Psych-K Practitioner and Positive Mindset Coach
We all have moments when our mind spirals. One little comment, a missed text, a look we can’t quite read—and suddenly we’re crafting entire stories in our heads. We assume, we panic, we brace for the worst.
But what’s really going on here?
More often than not, it's not reality that's upsetting us—it's our insecurity, our trauma, or our anxious brain trying to protect us in ways that no longer serve us.
The Anxious Brain Wants Safety, Not Truth
Anxiety is the brain’s way of scanning for danger. It’s trying to keep us safe. But when we’ve been hurt before—abandoned, betrayed, criticized—our brain learns to overreact. It fills in blanks with fear. It confuses possibility with certainty.
And that’s where poor decisions come in—decisions made from panic, not clarity.
Pause Before You Spiral
Before you send that angry text. Before you shut someone out. Before you make up a story in your head about what’s happening...
Pause. Breathe. Interrupt the pattern.
That pause is where your power lives.
Ask Yourself These Grounding Questions
-
Is this thought true—or is it fear?
Are you reacting to what’s actually happening, or what you’re afraid might happen? -
What did I actually see or hear?
Strip the story down to only the facts. -
What words were spoken?
-
What actions did you physically witness?
-
What has been proven to you, not imagined?
-
Am I making assumptions?
Often we fill in the blanks based on old pain or unresolved wounds.
Catch yourself. Ask: “Do I know this, or am I guessing?” -
Is this my insecurity speaking? Or my intuition?
Insecurity is reactive and loud. Intuition is quiet, steady, and grounded.
If it’s urgent and emotional, it's likely not your truth. -
What advice would I give a friend in this exact situation?
We’re often more compassionate and logical when we step outside ourselves.
Would you tell your friend to panic… or to breathe and wait for clarity?
Rewiring the Habit
Your brain may be conditioned to panic first, but it can be retrained.
-
Practice mindfulness.
Meditation, breathwork, and grounding exercises help slow the mental spiral. -
Journal your thoughts.
Get them out of your head and onto paper. This creates space between you and the story you're telling yourself. -
Challenge your fears gently.
Instead of saying, “This always happens to me,” try:
“I’ve felt this before. But this might be something different.” -
Seek evidence, not emotions.
Emotions are valid, but they aren’t facts. Look for proof before reacting.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
This is the most important truth of all:
You are not your anxious thoughts. You are the awareness behind them.
Your past pain does not get to write your present story. You do.
The next time your brain wants to assume the worst, stop.
Return to yourself. Return to the facts. Return to your truth.
Final Thought
You deserve to make decisions from a place of peace, not panic. From clarity, not chaos. From truth, not trauma.
So the next time your mind starts racing, remember:
Pause. Ask. Reflect. Breathe.
You are safe. You are growing. And you are in control.