It Was Never About Them

It Was Never About Them

The Power of Not Taking Things Personally

By Tima Dajani - Psych-K Practitioner and Positive Mindset Coach

We all know the sting of being hurt by someone’s words or actions. A betrayal. A harsh comment. A moment of disrespect. Our immediate response? Outrage, anger, or feeling offended. It’s human. It’s emotional. But what if those reactions—however justified—are not what truly matters?

What if the real purpose of every painful encounter isn’t to wound you… but to wake you up?

 

 

The Illusion of "Personal"

When someone hurts us, it feels personal. But most of the time, it isn’t.

People act from their own fears, insecurities, unhealed trauma, and pain. Their behavior is a reflection of their internal world—not yours. You just happen to be in the blast radius.

So take a deep breath. Count to ten. And ask yourself:

"What am I meant to learn from this experience?"

That’s the question that shifts everything.

 

 

It Was Never About Them—It Was Always About You

Not in a self-centered way. In a soul-centered way.

Every experience, especially the difficult ones, comes into your life as a mirror. To reveal something inside you. A belief. A wound. A lesson your soul is ready to learn.

  • Were you triggered? Why?

  • Do you seek external validation?

  • Is your self-worth tied to someone else’s approval?

  • Are you holding onto unresolved pain?

The moment you ask, “What is this trying to teach me?” you stop being the victim—and start being the student.

 

 

Extend Forgiveness—Not for Them, but for YOU

Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying what they did was okay.
 It means you’re done carrying it.

Because when you hold onto anger, resentment, or bitterness, you’re the one who suffers. You replay the pain. You carry the weight. You build walls around your heart.

Forgiveness is how you let it go. Not for their healing—for yours.

 

 

When You Choose Love, You Heal

The highest test of spiritual growth is this:

Can you show love and compassion even to those who hurt you deeply?

This doesn’t mean allowing abuse or staying in toxic situations. It means choosing not to let their darkness dim your light.

You can set boundaries and still forgive.
 You can walk away and still send love.
 You can let go without wishing them harm.

 

 

Pause. Breathe. Reflect. Grow.

So the next time you feel yourself about to react, do this:

  1. Take a deep breath.
     Inhale peace. Exhale the urge to react.

  2. Count to 10.
     Give yourself space to respond with wisdom, not emotion.

  3. Ask yourself:
     What am I meant to learn from this?

This is your soul’s work. This is your growth edge.
 And this—right here—is your power.

 

 

Final Thought

We grow the most from what hurts the most. Not because pain is noble—but because it opens us. To healing. To wisdom. To love.

The next time someone says or does something that cuts deep, remember:
 It was never about them. It was always about you.
 Your peace. Your evolution. Your freedom.

And that’s something no one can take from you.


 

 

🌿 Mindfulness Journal Prompt:

Title: Turning Pain Into Power: A Lesson in Letting Go

Think back to a moment when someone hurt, offended, or disrespected you. Take a few deep breaths, then reflect on the following:

  1. What was my initial emotional reaction?

  2. Why did it affect me so deeply?

  3. What wound or belief might this situation be revealing?

  4. What is the lesson my soul is trying to teach me here?

  5. Can I extend forgiveness—not for them, but for my own peace?

🖋 Write as honestly and openly as you can. You’re not here to judge yourself—you’re here to understand and grow.




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